You ever feel absolute overwhelm in December/January?

As I sit in my unfinished floor of a home I am making with a man I love- I am overcome with emotion of seeing my life through the lens of love. It’s been extremely hard to do in this season of my life.

I am someone who can be really hard on those around me because I am especially hard on myself. So taking this moment to see my life for where it truly is feels miraculous. I expanded my capacity for love, I expanded my business, had some great adventures- overall it doesn’t seem like I should be struggling to see the good.

But I am a mildly reformed pessimist. I am someone who tried very hard to remain emotionless. I actually kind of lived for figuring out what the worst case scenario is. My anxiety loved that game. While I weave out of doom and gloom to hopeful and full of love it’s nice to have the grounding moment in my attic that love really is the answer as cheesy as it sounds.

If you are new around here, I started The Beauty Room in 2014 legally, but went solo in esthetics a couple years before. Having a business was really never something I intended to do or have. I had never seen it done in real life. I just truly wanted the freedom to do things the way I wanted.

From its inception, it's been a whirlwind of opportunities- from becoming a brand ambassador for a global company (before influencer culture) and learning from celebrity artists, Paul Innis + Lauren Anderson. To being flown to Europe and everything in between. I’ve done makeup for prom clients who turned into bridal clients. I’ve gotten to start a magazine and create a skin care line. More recently, I’ve gotten to help others start their own businesses.

I’ve also not known where my next client would come from. Been lied to and devastated from ruthlessness in business. Not always shown up my best self. I’ve been very lonely, even surrounded by so many others. I say all this in hopes that if you are thinking you shouldn’t try something- you absolutely should. It won’t be all rainbows, it will actually be really fucking hard. But what that one singular choice of creating freedom for myself has created- WHEW.

I am in the final stages of removing the last traces of myself as The Beauty Room. TBR will no longer be just me, it will now be for everyone else who wants a new route to freedom in their businesses.

It feels liberating, sad, methodical...the right time to.

I welcome the shift, and it’s a layered change that I’m not quite sure how it will play out. The weird space this puts me in feels like one foot out the door. I am, albeit scared, very excited for what by be next for me. I can’t put exact words to how all of these changes make me feel, but I hope that starting to be more transparent about the journey will help others and even myself, feel not so alone anymore.

Even though I draw closer to not doing business in the way I’ve been doing it. I am still very thankful for all the things it has taught me. Some of the biggest lessons that you can apply to a wide range of things are:

• Get it in writing. Always have receipts.

• Your ideas are never as original as you think. It’s okay. You have something that meets the right people for you, where they are.

• You don’t have to give it all away for free when you start. Your peers will be more willing to work with you when you take your industry seriously and at the very least charge minimum market price.

So as I also get a little further away from social media, I will be posting more here. I would love if you interact, share and really get some nuggets of wisdom you can use in your own life.

I’m making up for lost time and making my website, my business or whatever it turns into, way more personal. More authentically me. What has come up for you in this season of refection?