You hear of crazy things happening all the time when people are planning their nuptuials. Maybe nothing quite as crazy as the classic Monster- in- Law or The Hangover has happend to someone you know. Those could be a little far fetch, but there are a diffrent breed of disasters to be on the look out for.

Having been in the bridal industry for a decade, I thought I had seen and heard it all. It truly takes going through the process yourself to feel the weight of it all. There are such emotional waves that I did not expect planning the smallest wedding. We are hoping for 50 of the closest people in our lives to celebrate with us this September. I want to tell you some things I did not realize going into all of this that may help the blow a bit when it’s your turn. Granted I live in the midwest and in my 30’s so I’m pretty late to the game. Here are the things that I am experiencing currently during my wedding planning process.

You will really have to analazye your finaces.

Even with seeing and working with wedding vendors all the time, I had no idea that everything cost SO MUCH. You hear it and expect it for the more extravagant weddings, but everything that we are seeing online as picture perfect weddings are 20k + easily. SImple flowers, 2k. Photographer 3k. Food 3k + and on and on.

At the end of the day I just want to be married to the person I love, but there are certain things that we can’t even think about adding once we realized how much everything costs. We were lucky to recieve help (make sure there are no strings attached, a story for another time), but it is still a stressor to know that such a HUGE finacial investment, I just do not think it is talked about enough. A lot of people are covered entirely by their families and that is a blessing that not everyone has. We may be able to create a vibe for about a lttle under 8k. Only because we’ve kept it small, gotten creative and called in some favors. I would highly recommend just eloping and inviting people at a later date for a dinner they pay for. We are lucky to live in a time where weddings are becoming less and less traditional and more personal.

If your feeling the love and want to contribute to our weddings feel free to send a few dolla dolla bills to my Ko- Fi account!

People will judge your entire relationship based on if they are invited to your wedding.

Speaking of personal … We want to keep our wedding small. We want to celebrate with people who have a big part of shaping us and shaping our relationship. Needless to say, doing this means people we care about, but aren’t close to us won’t be at our wedding. This has stirred up a lot of hurt feelings. I hope that more people start to realize that a wedding is not the end all be all of a relationship with someone. You can totally still be a part of their life and not be invited to their wedding. As for you bride babe, you have to not put their emotional response on your plate- you are already dealing with enough. Just know that your truest relationships will not crumble over this one day.

It’s all really a big ol’ test for your relationship.

I love this man, I do. When planning anything I get very stressed, but somehow nothing has touched wedding planning stress. You have to really look at your relationship and the values you are wanting to create as you are solidifying your little family to be. I think ithis part is actually amazing, albeit difficult. We have learned a lot about how we handle stress, what feels like a celebration, childhood triggers…the list goes on.

Something that has been helpful for us finding the balance in it all is keeping date nights. It makes it a little less “plan-y” and “vibe-y”. Being in different atmospheres while creating the wedding also lets think in new ways. At the end of the day you have to remember you are a team that is CO CREATING something special.

Our photos were taken by Megan Vinson Photography

I would love to hear more wedding planning tips in the comments below! What did you love about your process?