Letter to Married Couples | Adopt Your Single Friends

This weekend has been a snowy, slow one that has left a lot of room for food, tea, more food and reflection. On a Saturday afternoon my friend scooped me up from my apartment we enjoyed the slight freedom her 4 wheel drive Jeep provided in this mess of a snow jungle.
Since apparently the streets don’t really get plowed here in Southern Indiana. 

We went to brunch, a random adventure to the casino, gab time with friends and it all ended at her house where I stayed that night and well into the following. In that time there were so many moments where I was so appreciative for our friendship. Ours did not start of the smoothest, but I think overcoming things, in the end, makes for a deeper connection. While I was reflecting on it, it made me think all the times I’ve felt left out because married people usually cast out the single people like the plague. I know a lot of moms/married ladies think the opposite, but I am here to tell you, SINGLE people want to hang out. This is how we create a win/win situation...

WE GET BETTER FOOD
Who doesn’t love food?! I love the meme that says moms have the best snacks. The fact that they actually grocery shop, unlike me and most of my single friends, helps. At the heart of this, it is nice to be a part of family meals, something I don’t get to do very often. It’s not that the food is always better (we opted for Chinese one night) it’s the care that goes into making sure everyone is fed. On Sunday, we got up to make gluten- free blueberry muffins together from scratch. I mostly watched, but was happy to indulge and chat with my friend as her girls played in the snow. You can’t buy that type of fuzzy feeling or bake it at my house.

GETTING TO WATCH RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS
As a single person, raised by a single mother, there are so many things I haven’t gotten to witness. It doesn’t really hit you until you are an adult. I think Vivi telling her dad she’s a pretty princess and he’s a queen is the most precious thing ever. Their random dance parties melt my heart and give me lots of hope for changing the narrative of my future. Seeing sisters fighting like WW4 is going down (face it WW3 is pretty much on the way), then 5 seconds later loving on each other, will remind you to forgive and forget.
Seeing married couples bicker can be uncomfortable at times, but is very helpful. You think you are looking for the “perfect match” and then you realize in getting to share space with more couples that it can’t be perfect because PEOPLE are involved and none of us are perfect. Marriage is a partnership that requires loving someone enough to CONTINUALLY put in work. I think a lot of single people get discouraged by seeing these outrageously happy couples on social media. Love is work. This is probably the most important thing I’ve gained from being around this.

ALL THE KID MOVIES
This is honestly the one I don’t outwardly admit I enjoy, although I do cry during most of them. Kids movies just have such good messages. The older we get the more jaded we become and it is just really soul warming  to see happy endings. Also, I feel like they incite great conversations with children that make you REALLY think. “Inside Out” and “Finding Dory” had me crying like a baby, but also had me asking kids and reevaluating for myself how I felt about everyday things. Which is a great way to start keeping up with mental health.

BREAKING RACIAL BARRIERS
Being black integrating into a white family, is kind of a normal thing for me. I have lived in a predominantly white area my whole life. I think for a white family it’s a bit more of an adjustment. We are in a place where those “sensitive” questions can be asked and hard conversations about race can be had. I truly wish that anyone wanting to break barriers to find a circle of trust with people who are different. As for the children, I love knowing that they will grow up with a black woman in their life. That bought their cookies for fundraisers, listened to their stories, colored with them...etc. I never want their stories about people of color to be the ones portrayed poorly by media. They have a real life example of just because someone is a different skin color than you doesn’t mean they are a bad or scary person.
Also for me, my perception of police officers has been shattered, in a good way. They have families that lead normal lives, that care if they come home. He cares about the people he interacts with all day. He also cares about the injustices that are happening and is truly doing what he can to mend his city.
This isn’t just about race, although that is my story. Think about how many people in your life are like you and lead similar lives. Switch it up and add value to other’s lives. 

GIVING AND RECIEVING MORE LOVE
More people you trust, more people to love. Excluding people or limiting your time with them because of their relationship status is dumb. Let’s stop that in 2018. I never thought having two little kiddos say they miss their Kana, going to the North side of Evansville or having chats with police officers would fill me with love, but it has. I've gotten to experience these things because an already established family wasn't too afraid to let a single girl in.

So what I am saying is, married people have been taught to not hang out with their single friends. I get that for obvious reasons, but just don’t be stupid. Have friends you can trust. Then you can enrich each other’s lives in ways that you didn’t even realize. 

Love Stoned | Yoni Egg Review

I'm not ultimately known for being a hopeless romantic. I get bored very easily. I expect a lot out of people, typically pushing many to their emotional breaking point. I have a very thick bubble that can take quite a while to penetrate. I've been called aloof, bitchy, self centered...the list goes on and gets worse. To sum it up, my romantic relationships, mostly, have caused me to become the ultimate queen of “the game”. So I will most likely be alone for a bit, so I like to do things that make me feel EXTRA comfortable with myself as a person.

I know many of you on this blog are headed to the altar. With that "I do" comes bringing to the table a lot of "your stuff". Not just your couches and old T-shirts you will never wear, but your mental and physical "stuff". For women this can heavily include how you feel about your body and how you look. Add the fact that society places this weight on how much sexual attention your partner requires and I think we have our hands full with unpacking! I think a lot of people are scared to talk about sex and what role femininity plays in that, but to not include it when speaking holistically - mind/body/soul would be a disservice.

So yes, this post is about how to become one with your lady parts. 

Megan Vinson Photography for Love IT! EVV Magazine

My life will forever be intertwined with Love IT! EVV as many of my life experiences since 2014 have been centered around it. This is how I came to discover the Yoni Egg. Our Creative Director brought it to the team’s attention during our brainstorming session for Issue 14. Once we decided I would investigate further, I found Love Stone. The website goes into further details about usage and lists many benefits. These are the ones that caught me eye:

• Develop an intimate and loving relationship with your yoni, your entire body, and ultimately yourself.

• Strengthen and tighten vaginal wall and increase sensitivity during intercourse. Become much more orgasmic.

• Strengthen pelvic floor to cure incontinence and prevent prolapse in the future.

• Gain control over the vaginal muscles and rock your lover’s world.

• Enhance your Tantra, Qigong, and yoga practice.

• Reduced PMS symptoms, menstrual cramps and the duration of the menses.

• Improve overall health and well-being.

Megan Vinson Photography

I didn't really choose the yoni egg as a service to "get it right, get it tight" for a man. I truly wanted to see how it would connect my and further my idea of a true holistic mind set. Which means nothing involving our mind/body are separate, they all play into each other.

I wish I could tell you my skepticism proved even slightly correct, but from the moment I put it in, I felt a quiet power. The whole first day I felt like all my decisions were so grounded. I felt...softer. The experience as a whole is really hard to explain. I'm sure the physical and emotional effects vary from person to person. I completely felt more aware of my body, and in a strange way, my thoughts got quieter and slower. I had more time to process what feelings from which they were stemming. I did of course feel sexy, I was holding a jade freaking ball in my lady parts with a mere squeeze of those muscles.

The website suggests you let the egg do it's thing and come out when it's ready. Sometimes YOU won't be ready for when it comes out. You can view a hilarious stream of comments on this via my Facebook page and also suggestions on how to get your stone out of a toilet if need be.

Once out, I still felt the effects. My intimate experience afterwards felt closer. I can't speak for the other person, but I could definitely tell through our conversations that things most definitely felt deeper. Mostly because I felt a deeper connection with myself.

All in all, if you are into things that bring mind / body connection, I highly recommended trying a yoni egg from Love Stone. There are a bunch of different options that are all semi precious stones that you can use for years to come as your needs change. This trend that's been around for thousands of years is surely one that needs to stay thousands more.
 

Louisville Love | Meagan Jordan Photography

As many of you know I've spent a fair amount of time in Louisville this year. Some of you may have even thought I was leaving you high and dry and packing my bags for Kentucky. While I have had some great adventures and hope to continue to do so in Louisville, Evansville is still my home.  

In the process of discovering my favorite city in Kentucky, I have truly found some gems. Some of my favorites are places like Forage, where I gave my first Kentucky skin care class and is my total Pintrest dream come true. I also frequent places like 21c, Mr. Lee's and Lola above Butchertown Grocery. The people are equally amazing. Like Brooke Meadows, who I met on a shoot for Kentucky Bride is my Kentucky twin beauty soul mate. Monroe is...just freaking beautiful man, (literally a model) who I met dining at  8up Eatery which has one of the sickest views of the city. The superstar photographer, Meagan Jordan, I actually met at one of my most memorable weddings to date, The Biggs, featured in Love IT! EVV. We've caught up for drinks, food and laughs almost every time I've been in her neck of the woods. This woman is the sweetest. I mean seriously even her voice is the sweetest thing you'll hear all day!

I was thrilled when she was available to snap some pics. A quick flip through her portfolio will show that she has a range of diverse people, which is SO IMPORTANT to me. I see such a lack of diversity in the creative field and I am thrilled to know that's of importance even to new people that I meet. We decided to get some headshots ( be on the look out for another post) for myself and Monroe's portfolios and then we had some fun. Meagan spent some time playing with light and a prism and also sharpened her already amazing skill of capturing couples.

So NOW for the reason this is on The Beauty Room blog is for my bride babes! I wanted to drop a few tips for your engagement session as that's exactly how our lovely couple shots came out. 

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TIPS FROM KANA

• Coordinate...but wear your favorite things. I know most people go out and buy new attire for photo sessions, but I think there is something so much more fluid and relaxed in how you move your body in familiar clothes. Plus it will make the photos even more special. I wore my favorite yellow tassel earrings & my go- to off the shoulder shirt.  

• Spend some chill time beforehand. Couples can be sooo go go go all the time and never really get to sit down and enjoy each other. I got to spend some quality time exploring Evansville with Monroe a few days before this shoot. I think it really shows in the photos how comfortable we were with each other.

• Try to just have an experience. It's hard to do with a camera in your face, but the right photographer will definitely make it feel like it's just you two...but with professional suggestions.

TIPS FROM MONROE

• Music

• Food

• Comfortable Space

(Guys are simple)

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I've worked with quite a few photographers and I must say studio work isn't knocked out of the park by everyone. Known for capturing candid + organic moments Meagan hit it out of the stratosphere. This is a great representation of the work she can do for you and your bae. 

Now enjoy these lovely, romantic pictures. They totally take me down memory lane.

You can check out additional work at ::

WEBSITE :: meaganjordanphotgraphy.com

INSTA :: @meaganjordan_photo

7 Things You Need To Know | Life in Your Early 20's

In a short time, I will be exiting this beautiful bracket of life. I thought to myself, (as I lay in bed after a night full of drinks with names that make no sense, guys that make even less sense and jamming out to an awesome band) I should really bestow this information on the world….or whoever cares.

So in my last week of being 23 here is what you need to know about the early 20′s!! According to yours truly.
(Common Sense Disclaimer: Of course everyone doesn’t follow the same path. This is simply my opinions based off of my own personal experience. So its ok if you don’t agree!)

•You will most certainly meet a lot of ass holes.
Oh gosh, I mean its inevitable so I’m just warning you! Women mature faster, that’s science I think…ha! So guys in their early 20′s are in reality 15 years old.
I would say although I’ve had some very young bridal clients, the consensus I’ve gotten from older couples who have lived happy lives together, encourage having fun at this age and not putting so much stress on finding the one. This is the time you should be finding yourself.

•You will loose friends.
More bad news…ugh I know! But in retrospect some of the friends I lost did me a world of good. It’s a natural growing pain. I now have attracted people that fit the lifestyle I’ve grown to love. That lifestyle being Drama Free!

Self Discovery

Family

Here's to new beautiul friendships

Here's to new beautiful friendships

•You will be broke at times.
Whether you’re in college or just breaking out into the adult work field, for me this was the transition period. Going from having tons of help financially to doing it on your own, can be scary. There will be days Ramen noodles are your only option. My advice is tough it out. It builds character. Plus there is prosperity and abundance waiting for you. You will appreciate your things after you worked so damn hard for them!

•You will step onto a real path of discovery.
I have never loved myself more than I do right now. I feel like the past 2 years for sure I have grown tremendously. I have found not only a career that I love, but I have found a little piece of sanity. I am way more confident in myself and I believe that came from being on this path of wanting to know who I truly am.

•You get to be completely ridiculous.
Irrational, spontaneous, indecisive ..etc. The older you get you really have to tone that down, as more and more responsibility comes your way. So use it all up now. You are 20 something it’s soo okay ..and actually insanely fun to say “Oh well, I’m young” and people really do accept that as a legitimate excuse.

• You will like your parents a little more.
I hated my mom when I was a teenager. I felt like she was ruining my life constantly. I never got to do anything in my mind. The complete list of cliche teenage gripes is what I thought I was living.
As I’ve gotten older my relationship with my mother has blossomed. Everything she has ever done has been for my best interest. She is an amazing woman.I still learn so much from her, now I’m actually smart enough to listen!

There is a million other things I could tell you, but most important is
 

•Do everything!
The early 20′s is a time to explore ..everything!! If I had a dime for every time I heard someone older “I wish I would have done that when I was younger ..” well then I could have avoided the being broke thing altogether.

The early 20′s are a crazy, beautiful, scary, fantastic times. See the world, work hard, dance your ass off, laugh until your tummy hurts, love like crazy! I am so thankful to be able to continue to live & learn.

What are some of your experiences you’ve been through in this stage of life to share with the youngins coming to this time in their life?

Comment below or tweet me your advice @according2kana
And a special shout out to all the 2013 graduates!!!