One Night in NULU | Louisville, KY

It was a SUPER FREAKING COLD weekend, but we warmed it up with some drinks!

My friends came in town for the weekend in celebration of one of them getting married this month. We decided to get a airbnb in the heart of the heart of NULU. It was by chance that I found this gem. I was at a Galentine’s Day at WOW Factor Collective and I met Mindy who talked about managing a property. Low and behold she had this gem available for the following weekend. I love when things are so kismet.

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I stocked up on some goodies before I got to the airbnb. I am trying out Hummingbirds for Louiville and partnered with them to grab some Modica from Paul’s Fruit

I’d never been in before, but I will definetly be back. Great selection of fresh juices, fruit and healthy food. I ended up grabbing one of their made to order breakfast sandwiches and it was so bomb!

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My friend had a bouidor shoot scheduled with Chanel Nicole Photography. We got her ready for the shoot and this airbnb was so perfect for it!

I made the Tart Cherry Old Fashioned with Starlight Distillery Bourbon. We kept the Espresso Martinis flowing during the shoot. I just so happen to get a cute little mixer and Distillery 64 Vodka from the SoIN ribbon cutting a few days before, it was PERFECT. Everyone enjoyed them so I 10/10 recommend getting these mixes. It was way easier than grabbing a bunch of bitters and additives. I felt like a little baddie bartender. Also if you happen to have the time, you can go to Indiana and experience both distilleries.

We started the night with a drink at Nouvelle, which was next door!! Loved the gold rush drink and it was nice atmoshere to have a pre dinner drink.

We followed drinks with Dasha Barbours for dinner. It was about a 5 min uber drive from our location. The food was so bomb. PRICEY, but actually worth the price. I was happy to see that the carry COY Wine Collection, a local black owned wine brand. Had to get a bottle to support! The Bold + Beautiful Red Blend is my favorite.

After dinner we went to Outerspace, the back rave area in Galaxie. I had a TIME. The EDM was just hitting my soul. Dancing and the music hitting is a different type of feeling. Once we popped out of there we walked to Norae Bar and was met with a brave soul delivering Drunk In Love. It was magical, we all joined in because nothing crosses racial barriers and differences more than singing Beyonce together. Once that was done, we found ourselves a private room and belted until we had no more voice left.

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All in all, this is a lovely way to spend your weekend in Louiville, KY

STAY: Holy Goat
SHOP : Women Owned Wallet, Wicked, Bourbon Country Cannabis, NULU MAP
DRINKS + SNACKS: Modica, Trader Joe’s, Paul’s Fruit Store
PRE DINNER DRINKS: Nouvelle
DINNER: Dasha Barbours
NIGHT OUT: Galaxie/Outerspace, Norae Bar
BRUNCH: Agave + Rye

Just Move On

BUT HOW? 

This is a question I’ve been asking myself for almost a year.

As someone who has spent years surrounded by the healing arts I still had no idea how to actually do it. I’ve got the tarot readings, the energy healing, the sound therapy, the somatic therapy, the sage, the crystals, the books- ALL OF IT. 

But how the f*ck do I heal?!

Well, I at least knew I couldn’t heal in the environment that broke me. I had to get out. I saw an apartment with a river view and said I’m going to heal there.

What I did was cry a lot. 

Sleep a lot.

Contemplate the choices I made.

Wondered if I’d ever be happy again.

Tried to figure out if I actually ever was happy.

Stressed about what stories were being made about me.

I was too depressed to even pick up the habits of excessive drug or alcohol use, because I know the type of person I am and where that would lead me. I wanted to numb everything. 

To tell a story, without telling a story, takes a certain kind of nuance. This one involves betrayal of self, love and friendship. One day I will get on my Ressa Tessa shit and divulge. But today, it’s still too fragile. There is still too much unfolding.

If you’ve been dealing with the heaviness that comes with letting go of a life you not only dreamed for yourself, but also built into a reality, I understand. I understand the grief that comes with making choices that affect people you love. I understand that pieces of you still long for parts of the life you’re giving up. I understand that not knowing what’s next and going at it alone is scarier than anything M. Night Shyamalan could dream up.

So how do you move on? 

I still don’t have the answer. I do believe it starts by choosing yourself. Just a little. Day after day you get a little bit stronger, you feel a little less broken. You start to remember glimpses of who you truly are outside of any circumstance and that world isn’t actually over just because your spirit feels broken.

You take a shower and deep condition your hair. 

You drink some water.

You eat something fucking enjoyable.

You archive the pictures.

You take a walk.

You keep living. I guess at the end of the day that’s the answer. You just keep living. Even if you can’t be optimistic, even though the weight of it makes you move slower. You just keep breathing.

Something Blue | Evansville, IN Wedding Shower

Planning a Wedding can be stressful.

Looking back, this shower could have defininetly been the wedding. We had everything we needed. All the people we loved, our dog and great food.

If you are looking to make your life a bit easier here is your list of things/professionals to use for your shower or micro wedding.

Myriad Brewing Company $500 for 4 hrs, we tapped the bar at $500
La Campinara - we did a taco bar $400
Photographer - Nichole Davis Photography, I believe we had her for 3 hrs $350
Decor - Simply Yours Events did a great job and by the end of it was about $1000
My veil $1800, planned to wear for the wedding as well from House of White
Dress- Express, less than $40, shoes payless $30
Music - personal favor, but I believe Casey Williams is about $100 an hr.

Dessert bar, my friends gifted, I’m assuming it was about $250. The friends, priceless.

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What’s been your sticking point so far in wedding planning?

My Breast Reduction Story

If you have been on my side of the internet you have seen my announcement. I have finally gotten a breast reduction. It all happened very quickly and slowly. I’ve always been one to share my experiences, so there is no holding back on the newest adventure. Here is everything I have to share on the experience in hopes that is helpful for you.

Before and post op 1 week

My first consultation was in September of 2021 at Flannagan Plastic Surgery. The overall consultation left me uneasy. I was told that due to how my breast fell they were going to remove my nipple and I would lose all feeling. The feeling part was totally fine for me. They continued to explain that I would not be able to breastfeed. My partner and I were in the middle of wedding planning and had not completely decided about children yet. When I asked if there was another way, the doctor proceeded to say only 30% of women can even breastfeed. Which didn’t really answer my question, but was their way of saying no. Even if that is true, there was just not a lot of sympathy given or regard for other options.

I was planning to pay out of pocket, because I believed that my insurance would not cover the procedure. Flannagan’s office had already quoted 10k for the procedure.  This sounds like a lot, but my braces were about 5k. So I was ready to take on the payment if I could do it monthly. With the information given, I kind of gave up at that moment and went back to wedding planning.

A few months later, in February 2022, I was re-telling the story to my hairstylist. She had already been looking for a plastic surgeon and had found a surgeon in our insurance network. I was amazed and reached out to the Deaconess Plastic Surgery office right after our appointment. There was a bit of a wait to get in, which was the same for the previous office, but I was feeling optimistic and they set my appointment for consultation for May and it got pushed to June. I would allow for 2-3 months before you can even get in for a consultation.

In between all of this I had been visiting Core Chiropractic about once a week up front until I only needed it once a month. This helped quite a bit with discomfort and I knew I would need some kind of documentation of the issues my breast had been causing me. I paid about $50 per visit out of pocket. I did need this referal documentation when surgery came along.

Once my consultation came around, I met Dr. Kottwittz and her nurses. She explained to me what insurance is typically looking for- being a certain BMI and being able to take a certain amount out from the breast. She went over and drew out what her typical incision and scar would look like. I told her I really wanted to keep my nipple and she said she rarely had to take them off and would do everything to avoid that.

She informed me they would submit the information and then it was a waiting game on when we would hear back.

I left feeling really optimistic, but did throw it to the back of my mind since I didn’t know when we would even hear back. I went on to purchase my wedding dress and plan things basically as if I would still have these boobs for a while. 

Late August I got the call from the office that I was approved and they scheduled it right away. I had little time to get too scared, because it all happened so fast. I had one appointment the week they called and then I was right into surgery after labor day.

For the day of the surgery you have to stop eating/drinking at 12 am. You need a person there with you. My sister took me and stayed with me. For mine, I had to arrive 2 hours prior to surgery, which was 6 am. They planned for 4 hours of surgery and then they monitored you after before you could go home. The anesthesiologist did an amazing job. I woke up feeling no pain. I was starving though and ordered a lot of Panera. 

My mom, sister and friend Casey were all there when I woke up. I talked for a little bit and went straight to sleep. Once I woke up again, I was walked to the bathroom and then dressed for the journey home. Post- op week one wasn’t unbearable pain- it’s mostly just all uncomfortable. You can’t lift anything and you have to sleep on your back. I am about 2 weeks post op and I am moving around a bit more and cleared for driving, but trying to take it easy. I did finally start feeling my nerves healing. It feels like weird electrical pulses coming and going

All in all, I would do it again. The emotional toll was way more than I expected. Seeing myself in my clothes and actually having room and not being at war at how my breast will fit. I still get a little teary eyed. I am also changing status in my life to becoming a wife, my business is shifting and I am getting braces off. So you may not cry as much as me.

If you have been that girl that has to alter the way you move and what you  wear to be at the mercy of your breast size, I highly recommend looking into a breast reduction. The recovery isn’t easy, but it is totally worth it.

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THE TIPS

having to be on my back is proably the worst part

Had so many sweet deliveries

Do homework on your doctor’s before and after and scar styles.

Once I was told I had to have my nipple taken off I just believed that was the only way! There are actually quite a few ways you can get your boobs reconstructed. It helps to go in with questions and be somewhat informed.

Save money.

Even if you plan on using insurance you are going to have to take off work for quite a bit. Some people go back after a week or so. I watched countless youtube videos of experiences from artists and other service providers and their number one regret was not taking more time off to heal. I took 3 weeks off and I wish I would have saved a bit more to not worry about money at all during my break. I am very blessed to have a partner and a great community of people who have sent food which was a bigger help than I realized.

Be very adamant about size.

I think almost every video I watched people are relieved, but want smaller. I think my surgeon did an amazing job with the shape and scar placements. I do worry that since I will be able to move more that once I lose a little weight that I will still have big boobs. I think no one believes you when you say you want them as gone as possible because it’s not the norm. So have conversations and have your nurse put it in your notes every time you visit.

Be ready to get emotional. 

It feels like you are getting something done that you have been waiting for for such a long time, but our bodies store trauma and sweet memories. You may be overcome with a flood of emotions at random times as you mourn your old body and feel excited for what’s to come.

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And Just Like That... it's 2022

You ever feel absolute overwhelm in December/January?

As I sit in my unfinished floor of a home I am making with a man I love- I am overcome with emotion of seeing my life through the lens of love. It’s been extremely hard to do in this season of my life.

I am someone who can be really hard on those around me because I am especially hard on myself. So taking this moment to see my life for where it truly is feels miraculous. I expanded my capacity for love, I expanded my business, had some great adventures- overall it doesn’t seem like I should be struggling to see the good.

But I am a mildly reformed pessimist. I am someone who tried very hard to remain emotionless. I actually kind of lived for figuring out what the worst case scenario is. My anxiety loved that game. While I weave out of doom and gloom to hopeful and full of love it’s nice to have the grounding moment in my attic that love really is the answer as cheesy as it sounds.

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If you are new around here, I started The Beauty Room in 2014 legally, but went solo in esthetics a couple years before. Having a business was really never something I intended to do or have. I had never seen it done in real life. I just truly wanted the freedom to do things the way I wanted.

From its inception, it's been a whirlwind of opportunities- from becoming a brand ambassador for a global company (before influencer culture) and learning from celebrity artists, Paul Innis + Lauren Anderson. To being flown to Europe and everything in between. I’ve done makeup for prom clients who turned into bridal clients. I’ve gotten to start a magazine and create a skin care line. More recently, I’ve gotten to help others start their own businesses.

I’ve also not known where my next client would come from. Been lied to and devastated from ruthlessness in business. Not always shown up my best self. I’ve been very lonely, even surrounded by so many others. I say all this in hopes that if you are thinking you shouldn’t try something- you absolutely should. It won’t be all rainbows, it will actually be really fucking hard. But what that one singular choice of creating freedom for myself has created- WHEW.

I am in the final stages of removing the last traces of myself as The Beauty Room. TBR will no longer be just me, it will now be for everyone else who wants a new route to freedom in their businesses.

It feels liberating, sad, methodical...the right time to.

I welcome the shift, and it’s a layered change that I’m not quite sure how it will play out. The weird space this puts me in feels like one foot out the door. I am, albeit scared, very excited for what by be next for me. I can’t put exact words to how all of these changes make me feel, but I hope that starting to be more transparent about the journey will help others and even myself, feel not so alone anymore.

Even though I draw closer to not doing business in the way I’ve been doing it. I am still very thankful for all the things it has taught me. Some of the biggest lessons that you can apply to a wide range of things are:

• Get it in writing. Always have receipts.

• Your ideas are never as original as you think. It’s okay. You have something that meets the right people for you, where they are.

• You don’t have to give it all away for free when you start. Your peers will be more willing to work with you when you take your industry seriously and at the very least charge minimum market price.

So as I also get a little further away from social media, I will be posting more here. I would love if you interact, share and really get some nuggets of wisdom you can use in your own life.

I’m making up for lost time and making my website, my business or whatever it turns into, way more personal. More authentically me. What has come up for you in this season of refection?

Your Skin Care Line Up Re-Imagined As Bridgerton Characters

Okay, I admit I am a wee bit basic. I have traded pumpkin lattes for a good chai, but I still fall victim to mass trends. I gave into the Bridgerton craze a few weeks ago and finished the whole season in 2 days. I am only mildly ashamed. While there are some things that could be criticized I feel the need to withhold them due to the fact that inspired me to write this post in the wee hours of the night. I am the opposite of a skin care junkie, but pretty much everything some how relates back to it. So here are my thoughts on which characters are what type of skin care products and why.

Let’s Dive In.

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DAPHNE BRIDGERTON

The trendy skin care item that was made in partnership of a derm who wanted more klout and a celebrity that already had good skin. They have a team of people who live to make them look good, but swear it’s these new products.

It will have the most basic attributes, but some how the marketing and JLO saying it’s great adds an air of magic and you now feel a gravitational pull to have it.

It could bring you some mild satisfaction, but it’s mostly packaged very well and hyped. It won’t completely wreck you, but there are better, less expensive (less drama filled) options.

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THE DUKE

Vitamin C serum hands down.

Unstable most of the time...but there to kick things up a notch and add some kink to your line up. Just like the actual product, it sucks to get addicted to the results because meanwhile you’re creating more damage (with improper usage). Not using this in conjunction with a sun screen, using it with very sensitive skin or getting a rancid batch will leave you with an emotional hangover ala Duke style.

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THE QUEEN

EXFOLIATION

Whether you do it with a scrub, or an acid...it’s a bit abrasive. It also does not care how you feel. It’s there to do its job and you must oblige to get what you want.

Your queen commands it.

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LADY DANBURY

An ever so lovely balm. 

Danbury was a shield for The Duke of having to go at life alone. Soothing over all your visible insecurities while at the same time building you up. Much like a power packed facial balm, we need it in our line up more than we realize. It cares for us in all the other ways our physical products are lacking.  Lady Danbury is the gift that keeps giving. 

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ELOISE BRIDGERTON

Your intuition wants to get down to the bottom of things much like Miss ELOISE.

Very often you push aside your inquisitive nature, but honestly it is the MOST important part of any skin care regimen. Learning to question what you ate, where you were and what you were doing throughout the day can give so much insight when you are trying to get to the bottom of any irritating skin condition. 

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PENELOPE FEATHERINGTON 

This one is a curve ball. She most definitely is your birth control.

Always making you  feel a little uncomfortable, a bit rash and at times vengeful-this part of skin care is easily overlooked, but can be a huge culprit for breakouts.

While it has been linked to help with acne it is pure accident and not intentionally made to do so. The reason it can be helpful or harmful depends on your levels of estrogen and progesterone. Guess what, those change all the time. Going off or on can throw your skin in a tizzy.

As Sir Brown once said, “These hoes ain’t loyal”.

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Let me know your thoughts on who’s who!!