The Secret Sauce To Getting What You Want | Soloprenuer Support

If you’re not on #manifesttok, it’s probably for the best. January can truly be a big ole vision board szn. While I love and have manifested a lot with the various boards I’ve made, I do think there is an element of embodiment + and action that need to be entwined with them to see the best results for seeing your life align with your vision.

I’ve had quite a bit of practice with this. With very little credentials in the beginning of my business, I was able to do sooooo many things through aligning my actions with the visions I had for myself. I wanted to be regarded as an expert, work for myself, travel internationally through work, create a skin care line- the list was extensive. I did all that and some hunnyyy!

The secret. 

ASKING FOR WHAT YOU WANT

I am the queen of the ask in my circle of friends and my favorite quote is “ a closed mouth don’t get fed”.

It mostly just takes being a little more bold. Here are the ways that I have found have a 87% rate of getting exactly what you want. I know you may be thinking “Kana, I don’t have a business, I don’t have followers” or things along those lines, but trust me this works for anyone.

This seems like a no brainer. You would be so surprised that not only do people feel scared to ask, but also think it’s “not their place”.  When you think in this way you are preventing so many good things from happening from not asking. The collab you’re wanting to do, could open up the business you're asking to a whole new pool of clients. The job position you dreamt up might not be created yet, but  is something that not only can change your life, but the trajectory hires in a new department.

My first magazine column came about because I merely ASKED. Ya boy got a ring on my finger…because he asked. 

In all seriousness, sometimes you are sitting on an opportunity that could not just work for you, but also the person you're asking. Which brings us to the next point.

CREATE A WIN/WIN 

In every situation that I have made the ask, I made sure that it had benefits for all parties involved. In this day and age I don’t see this done as much, but I always personally like to spend money at places I plan to partner with in the future. I think it extends some good juju. This obviously doesn’t work for every situation, but it leaves a good impression when you can.

The best way to create a win/win most of the time is to be really transparent about what your goals are. For example, when I wanted to write a column for a local magazine I wanted to reach an audience to show them a new side of the city. The aligned goal for them was diversifying their voices and ALSO reaching a new audience. A win/win.

BE OPEN TO A PIVOT

So what if you ask and what the other person wants to give isn’t exactly what you were expecting?  A STEP towards something you want is still creating energy of movement forward. My first spa room on my own was essentially a closet, a window nook. At the time I was so proud of it and I still miss it to this day. Was it the space I dreamed of having? No. Did it eventually get me to my dream space? Absolutely. 

Don’t be afraid of messy, non linear action. Don’t waste any more time not going after things 

That you want. If you need some more personal guidance take a look at these SERVICES.

I would love to hear if you try this, comment below!

5 Ways To Deal With Business Heartbreak

I have personally gone through this with transitions with The Beauty Room, the end of Love IT! EVV Magazine and many other partnerships that I loved. When these things end, we are expected to just carry on like nothing happened. Something did. A partnership that you felt very invested in severed and now your competitor is in your spot, you had to close a business or your feelings were just very hurt. You may have got a big NO for something you were betting on to be a sure thing. All of these can be so heartbreaking, so I wanted to give you some things that may help. Here are five great ways to get through business heartbreak.

BE SAD...OR WHATEVER.

Yo. It is completely okay to be all up in your misery, your anger, your heartbreak. It’s okay to feel your feelings. I repeat, IT IS OKAY TO FEEL YOUR FEELINGS. They are valid no matter the situation. You only create more pain and resistance when you try to stuff them down. There is a time for trying to get back in the groove of things and putting on a happy face. Right after a perceived failure or disappointment are just not it. Not addressing how you truly feel about the situation will only further complicate future business endeavors. What you resist, persists. So listen to Alanis Morissette, rip stuff up, have a bonfire whatever fits your mood at that moment. 

PLAN A GETAWAY

Run away. Far away from your problems. An Island always sounds nice.  

Well, I am only half way serious, because you may not have island money or a week to spare. While not a popular opinion, I do think it is healthy to take your body and all the things that could be triggering out of your life if only for a couple days. Really during your business heartbreak are the stages of grief. We pour our resources, our love, our life into our businesses. A mental break does not come often enough. Especially when it may be your sole income. So schedule a weekend or a couple days for sheer space to let your mind and body go to other places. This can be done to have more space to feel your feelings or a great time to do it is when you’re ready to get over that hump of self pity.

TAKE INVENTORY

Okay you have to take your woe is me outfit off ( I legit have a playlist, outfit, tea for when this happens) and look at the situation through a few different perspectives. When you do this you can take inventory of what happened in a less biased way. This step is VITAL especially for service givers. As an esthetician, I automatically jump to “do they hate me now”, if I see that they’ve gone somewhere else for a service.

I take myself out of the equation and ask; Was I even available? Was the competitor’s price more viable for the person? Do they have other people in their life that give these services? These types of questions vary for everyone. Not taking things so personally will save you a world of hurt. Honestly things aren’t all about us. It seems that way since our businesses are very personal to us. Even with our best clients and partnerships it is still a BUSINESS transaction. A lot of factors take place when doing business. We can't forget that even when we’ve created a relationship. If this is a shock to you, look at some of the people you love but don’t patronize a lot. 

REVISIT YOUR WHY

Sometimes we’re thirsty. We’re dying to drink from whatever we think may give us life.

What we don’t realize in those times, is that it may not have even been what we truly want. When things don’t work out, God was probably working and literally “business blocked” you so that you stay on the right path. Alignment will not only create better flow for serendipitous moments in life and business, but also creates sustainability. My WHY felt like it’s been changing and the last year, but it hasn’t. What I was doing to get to it has been, but when I look at the bigger picture, I know that my choices revolve around providing women with spaces to BE, sharing knowledge & love on my journey in hopes that it will help others make whatever leap they’ve been yearning for.  What is your WHY and are you making your choices with your why at the forefront? 

PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK

Quite easily one of the hardest things when you are going thru this. Girl, take a minute though and really applaud yourself. You went for something. Whether it was a business, a partnership a job opportunity, YOU TRIED. Honestly that is 73% of the battle. What taking action does is gets you further than you were, even if it’s not the place you originally imagined. So look at you, all in a different place & stuff! Go have a drink and celebrate the space there is for new things to happen.

As always, if you’re ready to do some plotting and have some fun on the way to creating your next business venture, holla atcha girl! .